Growing up in an abusive environment, I could not allow my true self to be seen and known. Letting my true self out would have been dangerous. An abuser finds those vulnerabilities and uses them against you. And they are relentless.
My armor developed years ago as a way to protect me. It used to have a purpose; to protect me from abuse. I am not in that situation anymore, but I still have the armor. Do I need it? Is it helping me?
I know laws are written to protect children. As long as those kids either go through the “right channels” to get into “the system.” I would love to say that the system is a way better place, but many times it is not.
I don’t know about you, but I have never met any child that would choose to leave home to live the unknown life of homelessness. And yet, kids are making that choice day after day. Their home life is so bad that they cannot live there another moment.
Why is emotional abuse seemingly so easy to minimize? In part because emotional abuse leaves no external, easily discernible marks. The abuser’s choice of weapons are words.
I think when we (the general community) talk about resilience, it isn’t the physical modifications that our brains go through to protect us. It is what we teach ourselves to overcome the physical modifications of our brain that is resilience.
Broken is how I have always felt. If you shake me, you would hear all of the brokenness rattles around inside me. That is what childhood abuse does to your developing brain.
In this post, I am writing about the science behind resilience. When I was writing about resilience, I wanted to understand on a deeper level what it means to have a resilient brain.