There was always something within me that seemed to keep the darkness away. I like to think it was the beginning of resiliency. I lost that spark somewhere along the way. I recently found it again.
When I lost someone who was always there for me, it reminded me of the simple fact of feeling alone but never being alone. My friend was always there for me while I struggled to escape an abusive home environment all of those years ago.
Alcohol was not the cause of the pain I sought to bury. I used alcohol to bury the hurt and the sorrow. For awhile alcohol worked. Except it doesn’t work forever nor should it.
There is a disconnect in the way I interpret and engage with reward cues. Could it be that figuring out the disconnect in my reward system is the key to fulfilling my purpose?
My brain’s reward system might be broken. If it is, what or how did that happen? And how can I fix it? I don’t think I am stuck, I think my brain is ever-evolving.
There is some interesting science behind what motivates us. Much of that has to do with our reward system in our brains.