I can’t believe it has been two years since I made the decision to not drink anymore. I didn’t tell anyone. I didn’t yet have it figured out how to be in that new space. It wasn’t even a space that I had occupied. Not in a long time.
I reflect on life quite often. It helps me determine what I need to change. There are past versions of me that I don’t want to become again. I will do everything in my power to never get to that dark place ever.
Change happens when we explore. Part of the definition of exploration is examination. It requires a deeper dive into what is known into what is unknown. Only there will discovery occur.
The loss of one friend is hard enough. I lost two to cancer yesterday. And the third to me accidentally triggering some deep insecurities in her. I am focusing on the two I lost to cancer. Still unpacking that last one.
There are so many non-alcohol things to do in Vegas. You don’t even have to look that far for them. I had my plan in place. I was going to do this!
I am in Vegas this week. For fun with family and friends. I have been challenged many times. Oddly not to drink, but that is the monkey that is always on my back. I might be used to it by now.
I am looking at celebrating two years of sobriety this December 31st. As that day approaches I am looking back on the struggles of the last two years.
I look like an adult; I talk like an adult and act like an adult (well, for the most part), but emotionally, I am still a child. I never learned how to express how I feel. My feelings were never important.