I have a holiday-induced introvert hangover, but I still had to write. Writing is how I get through things like an introvert hangover. But I could barely focus, so I did what I could and dug up some old random thoughts.
Finding some alone time during the holidays can be challenging. I have found a few stealthy self-care tactics that have worked for me when I need a few moments to breathe.
There comes a moment when truthfulness is the key to whatever is next. My truth is at my very core; I am depressed with a hefty side dose of anxiety. But that is me all of the time.
Tis the season to be…depressed and anxious? Wait, that is not how any of those songs go. But it happens and is happening this year too. The depression spirals out of control and into the darkness I go.
The holidays are just around the corner. Survival mode initiated. But wait, do I have to keep surviving this? Can’t I do something different? Maybe I can.
I never wanted to write about my childhood abuse. I wanted to write cool novels that people would love. Who would read about childhood abuse? And what would I have to offer? It turns out more than I thought.
I didn’t know I would write about this, my spiraling into darkness. I had plans to write something else. But that is what depression and anxiety do – it takes over and changes your plans.
There has been a great weight upon me lately. I am sure it has to do with the upcoming holidays. Memories are coming back to me. I have been wondering what made me different: I was defiant in the face of such abuse.
It is never too soon to try, learn, or do what you have always wanted to do. As an adult survivor of childhood abuse and trauma, I am starting to do things I could not do as a child.