Choice. It’s a word that packs a lot of power. When I have choices, I feel better about myself and the world around me. The ability to choose the people in my life is no different. I want to be around people who celebrate me.
I realized recently that my family was abusively dysfunctional. Growing up, I only recall thinking something wasn’t right within my family. But, then, years of therapy, sobriety, and a lot of hard work, and I think, wow, that was really bad. Followed by, holy shit, how did I survive?
I have been in prison. I didn’t make the prison, my abusers did, but I have kept myself in that prison long after either person has been in my life.
Seeing a moment of clarity and knowing you can walk down a different path. And in that moment when greet change with the right amount of skepticism and hope. And that hope overrides the skepticism and prepares you for the hard work ahead.
What can I do? Seeing the world from the child’s perspective of not wanting to follow in the footsteps of the adults around them.
In the past, I didn’t realize what I was bringing with me, which was everything. I thought that if I moved forward fast enough or kept moving forward, I would outrun my past. I was wrong.
People wear masks. I know I do. And that is okay, until that mask covers up who you really are. See, even though I wear a mask, it is still representational of who I am. But that is not true for all people.
The idea of forgiveness is part of the survivors’ conversation. Do you forgive? And if you do, who are you forgiving? And how is that connected to forgetting? Is there a connection?
I grew up making myself small. That included minimizing my experiences, especially if it was something positive. I thought it was because I grew up in an abusive home, but as I entered the world, I realized that everyone minimizes themselves and their experiences.