I am an adult survivor of childhood trauma and abuse. I used to ask, “What is wrong with me?” I couldn’t seem to do anything right, even into adulthood. I struggled to push my way through life. I had no tools to work with. I only had the broken tools left to me from an abusive childhood. I blamed myself for what I couldn’t figure out, which was quite a lot with life.

A few years ago, I stopped asking what was wrong with me and instead asked, “What happened to me?” And then I went deeper into that basic question,

• What happened during those times of missing memories?
• What happened to me that I am hypervigilant?
• What happened to me that I disassociate?
• What happened to me that I am an alcoholic? (in recovery)

And on and on those questions go.

The answers to those questions are quite complicated. Within this blog, I will delve deep into those questions and attempt to find their answers. My way of moving forward, understand myself by answering those questions.

I hope that sharing what I went through as a child, how that has affected my ability to thrive, and my search for those answers will help someone.

I do not want anyone else to roam in the dark, lost and alone, as I did.