Blah Days & Sludgy Head

Blah days happen. They happen to all of us. I mean, really, not every day is going to be the greatest day ever. It isn’t mentally possible. At least I don’t think it is. It sounds exhausting having the greatest day ever every day. I feel the need to nap just thinking about it.

I have had one of those blah days recently. It ended up being several days in a row that were blah days. There wasn’t anything specific that I could identify that was causing it, just couldn’t get out of my sludge head. And yes, sludge head is a technical term (no, not really, but maybe it should be).

Not only did I have a sludgy head, but I also tweaked my sacroiliac joint while out running again. Except for this time, it hurt. It hurt enough that I was starting to walk funny so that it wouldn’t hurt as much. Goddamnit, I guess that means I need to take a step back and go back to the basics. And yes, I know, I should have kept the basics as my foundation, but I didn’t. So, there you have it. I broke myself, again.

Yoga for Mind & Body (for real)

I really believe there is a connection between my tweaking my SI joint and having several blah days. I didn’t start doing anything at first. I was in a funk, and I didn’t want to admit that I was hurt, that I couldn’t do things, and that I had to take it easy. Taking it easy, just like having one or two beers, is not something that I understand. But, in this case, I have to get back to the basics of exercise. Egads. 

Back to basics is building that foundation of physical health, like a strong core, legs, etc. At least, that is how I view getting back to the basics, especially when I realized that part of my issue is that I have recently put on a lot of weight. My weight gain is in part due to the medications that I am taking. It is also because I haven’t been focusing on my physical health. 

Okay, so back to basics is, what, exactly? It’s stretching, yoga, massages, and no running or high-intensity workouts. At least, that is what it has to be for me. It sounds boring, right? Not when you follow Yoga with Adriene on YouTube, which I do and highly recommend. I was expecting help with stretching, core strength, and flexibility. I was not expecting the other aspect of yoga. 

It turns out maybe hurting myself happened for a reason.

Blah Days Almost Won

The other aspect is the mental health part of yoga. Once I started yoga and got into a good groove, it is easier than it used to be to clear my mind. Those blah days when I was fighting against my sludge brain, it was not easy. I wasn’t even able to clear my mind enough to get through the first minute. I was antsy and couldn’t focus, and everything except calming thoughts were barraging my brain.

I was getting annoyed, and I kept thinking about everything else except my breathing. I almost walked away, but eventually, I went back to the list of yoga videos. She has A LOT of awesome videos, and so I thought that I needed something different. I scrolled around for like three seconds, maybe four tops, thinking, oh, in that one she is laying down on the yoga mat, that looks like how I feel right now.

Eventually, though I gave up and decided to go back to I went back to Day 7: Home and get back to massaging my right shoulder. For some reason, that was annoying me? What is wrong with me? Maybe for me, it was because it wasn’t very relaxing. Why wouldn’t massaging my shoulders not be relaxing? I don’t know. It should be, it usually is, but that is the thing with being in a funk. Everything seems annoying.

Yoga was NOT Working

When those blah days happen we may have things that we do that pull us out of that mindset. And sometimes those things don’t work for us. That in and of itself is annoying. Why isn’t this working? What is wrong with me that I can’t even get into this headspace, out of the other headspace, to fucking relax? Really me? Really? To add to the blah day, I did not want to feel sludge minded. And so, I put pressure on myself.

Most of that pressure was throwing all sorts of negativity at me. Come on me. I need this. I don’t like how this is not working out for me right now. Seriously, what is wrong with me? The more frustrated I became, the angrier I got with myself. This entire thought process and the cycle of negativity took a few minutes.

At some point in that cycle, I recognized it for what it was. I fed into my negativity cycle by getting more frustrated with myself than I needed to be. Wait, I was getting frustrated with myself, period. There was no reason to be frustrated with me for having a blah day. As I wrote in the beginning, blah days just happen. And they happen to everyone.

Stop the Blah Day Cycle

What did I do to get myself through that yoga session and ultimately feel less blah? I told myself to shush. And when I did that, I stood still, closed my eyes, and in my mind told myself to quiet. I needed to stop the cycle of berating myself for not being in a good space and not getting into that good space. It was a negative feedback loop. 

I am critical because I think I am supposed to be perfect, be in the perfect (right) headspace, mood, whatever. It is all about the expectations that I have about being perfect. Since perfection is a lie and does not exist, ever I am left with being angry at myself because of no reason. And that seems pretty silly to me. 

I also found a mantra that helps, too, progress, not perfection. I did get that from Team Body Project. Team Body Project has excellent low impact cardio videos on YouTube. Team Body Project is another one that I highly recommend if you are looking for low impact cardio. Their saying became my mantra because it helps to break my cycle of self-criticism.  It also reminds me that perfection is unattainable because perfection does not exist.