Darkness of Depression

Darkness overrides all senses

keeping me from knowing

love, encouragement,

and acceptance. Nothing can

penetrate when

darkness engulfs me.

I am alone, the darkness

whispers. Unable to see what

surrounds me, I have no choice

but to believe what the darkness says.

What if it’s wrong?

That question pierces the darkness,

barely anything to note, this minuscule

chink, but I can see now what is

beyond. And I begin to ask more questions.

More holes appear as I question this

reality, one built

for me to live out my existence

within the darkness. But what if?

I no longer want to live

there, in that darkness,

now I have seen light,

felt the warmth, am aware of what

is possible. Question my reality, to exist

within this

darkness and solitude, and

found

it no longer fits me. I begin

to break free.

Slowly.

This new reality of light,

is scary, and I am unsure of myself,

so much time in that darkness,

though I know it whispers lies,

those familiar lies clings to me,

holds me tight, and tells me to be fearful

of what lies beyond.

Oh, the struggle to escape!

That darkness binds me, tightening its grip,

whispering the worst things.

I am fearful.

So afraid, and yet I continue my

struggle to escape

what once was

to step forward into what

could be.

Thinking I could change years of abuse by myself was a fool’s errand. I did not have the tools to heal myself. The psychological toll it takes to move through life like that is immense. Therapy is the best start for healing.

I recommend Online-Therapy.*

Check Out My Other Writing

The Slow Descent to Sobriety

It’s Just One Night

You can also check out my recent poetry:

What Happened to All of My Words?

What Can I Do?

* I receive compensation from Online-Therapy when you use my referral link. I only recommend products and services when I believe in them.