Holding Space: What it Means

by | May 4, 2023 | It's Complex...PTSD, Uncategorized | 0 comments

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Holding Space for People

holding space for peopleHolding space for people means it isn’t about you, so don’t make it about you. That is it. But holy shit, it’s REALLY hard to do. You know what, though? It’s a relief to hold space for yourself and the other person.

When someone shares a hard truth with you, they aren’t expecting you to do anything except sit and share that space with them and believe what they tell you. So don’t insert your views on the situation, make it about you, or, and this is the worst thing you can do, invalidate their experience.

So sit there and keep your mouth shut. That’s holding space for people.

holding space definitionHolding space means to be with someone without judgment…To practice empathy and compassion. To accept someone’s truth, no matter what they are. To allow and accept. Embrace with two hands instead of pointing with one finger. To come in neutral. Open. For them. Not you…”

Hard Truths

There are parts of my life that are hard truths. The abuse I endured, sexual harassment, sexual assaults, etc. When you really get into the nitty-gritty, the list is quite long. But, of course, it is. I have LIVED a LIFE (or several lifetimes, as it feels).

And when I choose to share even a portion of any of those hard truths, I have expectations. The biggest is the other person holds space for me.

Importance of Holding Space

So why is it such a big deal to hold space for someone? Well, for one, it shows you care. And, well, actually, that’s it. Showing you care is the most important reason to hold space.

And for so many people who have maybe never shared their hard truth(s) or who are healing and looking to find their safe people, showing you care means you are there for them. It means THE WORLD to people who are actively healing.

Incapable of Holding Space

I am finding some people are incapable of holding space. And that is okay, well, okay, it hurts because I have to figure out who those people are by sharing a bit of truth and watching their reaction.

But once I figure out they cannot hold space, I accept what that means.

Finding my safe people is essential to my healing and my continued journey of finding my place in the world.

“At the end of the day, it means to not make it about you. That’s it. Holding space means to make it about someone else. Plain and simple.”

Are you finding it difficult to share your story because no one ever held space for you to share? Try therapy. I found therapy a place where I can heal. I know you will too.

I recommend Online-Therapy.*

Check Out My Other Writing

The Slow Descent to Sobriety

It’s Just One Night

You can also check out my recent poetry:

What Happened to All of My Words?

What Can I Do?

* I receive compensation from Online-Therapy when you use my referral link. I only recommend products and services when I believe in them.

Sharing this helps others realize they are not alone


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