Moments of Clarity
There are moments of clarity in life when the smoke clears, the glass shatters, and you are standing amid your reality.
Whether it was one of your making or someone else’s, it is where you are with no deception.
Where are you?
Who are you?
Do you like where and who you are?
Do not scramble to pick up the broken mirror shards on that day. Do not wish for the quiet comfort of the lies you lived.
Instead, lift your head, straighten your shoulders, and accept the challenge.
Lost Me
That is where I found myself when the slow descent into alcoholism and depression became an avalanche of destruction. It was that day I was faced with myself for the first time in a long time.
I had known for years that alcoholism was taking over my life. That small part of me cried each time I picked up a drink. And as the years passed, that voice became louder and more insistent.
I ignored it as a good addict does.
But then my husband’s voice joined those tiny, insistent cries. And what I had been able to ignore, and embrace even as my eventual death, became something bigger than myself.
It became about us—my husband and me. His voice gave me a moment of clarity
Reflected Truth
I looked in the mirror and saw me—the real me—staring back for the first time.
I hated the person staring back at me and what I had allowed myself to become.
As I looked at myself that day when my husband gave me clarity, I asked myself, “What do I do now?”
Choose Wisely
I believe when we see the truth, we have two choices.
Option One
The first choice, ignore that truth. Unfortunately, this is the option most people choose. It is easier to choose because you deny the truth and continue your life.
I often see this in people who want others to see them in a certain way, usually positively, but that is not who they are. So, consequently, their lives are a façade.
My parents were those people. But, unfortunately, their presentation of who they were and our lives as a family was a lie. And my parents would do anything to maintain that façade.
These people maintain the status quo of dysfunction and abuse to save the façade.
Option Two
The second choice is to sit with and accept that truth. This option shows you the conflict between what you want to see and your truth. This option removes the rose-colored glasses and puts them aside to face and work through your truth.
The people I see choosing Option Two are people like me, adult survivors of childhood abuse and trauma. Basically, we had front-row seats to the shit show early on in our lives and have decided to change seats. Hell, we decided to move to a completely different theater across town.
We are the cycle breakers.
Moments of Clarity
My husband showed me the truth, and when he did that, it resonated with me as truth. And I was determined to change.
It was not as easy as those three sentences make it seem. I am still working on my awareness of truth and healing in therapy. But I look at that moment, a sliding door moment, and I am glad I chose Option Two.
I think somewhere within my brain that little voice, warning me for years, was now jumping up and down for joy.
Thinking that I could change years of abuse by myself was a fool’s errand. I did not have the tools to heal myself. The psychological toll it takes to move through life like that is immense. Therapy is the best start for healing.
I recommend Online-Therapy.* 
Check Out My Other Writing
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* I receive compensation from Online-Therapy when you use my referral link. I only recommend products and services when I believe in them.
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