What is Disassociation
What is disassociation? I have been in several group discussions when disassociation came up. We discussed how different it is for each of us when we disassociate. And I began to wonder, what is dissociation? And why does it happen?
Disassociation is a psychological condition in which people disconnect from their thoughts, feelings, and experiences. People experiencing disassociation may appear to detach from themselves or others and experience memory problems, concentration issues, hallucinatory episodes, emotional numbing, and more.
While disassociation can often be due to trauma or mental health issues, treatments and therapies are available to help people cope with this disorder. Ultimately, disassociation is a complex disorder that requires understanding and compassion from others for those suffering to get back on track.
What is dissociation? “If you dissociate, you may feel disconnected from yourself and the world around you. Dissociation is one way the mind copes with too much stress, such as during a traumatic event.
Experiences of dissociation can last for a relatively short time (hours or days) or much longer (weeks or months). If you dissociate for a long time, especially when you are young, you may develop a dissociative disorder.
Instead of dissociation being something you experience for a short time, it becomes a far more common experience and is often the main way you deal with stressful experiences.”
Signs of Disassociation
Disassociation is a mental condition that manifests itself in several different ways. Common symptoms include feeling out of touch with reality, lacking awareness of one’s thoughts and emotions, and having difficulty identifying one’s own body or other people’s feelings.
Other potential signs of disassociation include disorganized speech, perseverance in repetitive activities, difficulties carrying out complex sequences of actions, changes in facial expression or tone of voice, and an inability to connect to other people on an emotional level.
Seek Therapy
Several factors cause disassociation, including trauma and mental illness. Therefore, it is essential to seek help if you suspect that you or someone close to you is experiencing symptoms of this condition. With the support and guidance of a qualified therapist or counselor, it is possible to manage the symptoms of disassociation and begin the healing process.
Finding the right therapist for you can be a challenge. When you are ready to reach out for professional mental health assistance I recommend Online-Therapy.*
*I receive compensation from Online-Therapy when you use my referral link. I only recommend products and services when I believe in them.
What It Feels Like to Disassociate
We know what disassociation is, but what does it feel like? I can tell you; it is terrifying. I used to disassociate a lot more than I do now. It feels like you are watching a movie, but you know that you aren’t. And you can’t control what you do, at least not very well. I have said or done things I have watched myself do or say, and I can’t stop myself. I am on some weird autopilot.
I have shorter moments of disassociation that are also scary for me. And based on my hubs reactions, it is a bit scary for him too. My shorter disassociations are when the world disappears. My hearing becomes muffled, my vision grays, and I am no longer present.
In those moments, I can feel myself shutting down. It’s like when you leave your house and turn off the lights from one room to the next. That is precisely what it feels like to me.
Strategies for Disassociation
Disassociation can result from many factors, such as trauma, stress, or feeling overwhelmed by one’s emotions. If you are struggling with disassociation, like me, there are a few strategies that may help to alleviate your symptoms and improve your well-being.
Grounding
One option, grounding, is engaging in activities that help you reconnect with your physical body and the present moment. It involves using tactile or visual focal points to bring yourself back to the present.
Some examples that I use are:
- A small flat rough stone that I carry in my pocket
- Bracelets made with stones and stretch cord (I make mine, but you can buy them too)
- Rub your hands on your jeans
- Stone elephant carving (I use this for visual grounding)
- Naming items in the room
Additionally, I prioritize self-care by not over-extending myself. I am less likely to disassociate if I can manage my stress and anxiety by minimizing interactions and knowing when I have had enough.
Finding Humor
One of the ways I deal with the challenges I have as an adult survivor of childhood trauma and abuse is humor. I get it; sometimes, it can be hard to find the funny bits in a scary moment, like disassociation. So, from my perspective, there are moments that I can either laugh or cry; I try to laugh, even if it is at my own expense.
I refer to myself as a fainting goat when I disassociate. Even though disassociation is a serious situation, there are moments when I need to find humor in my situation. And making light of it helps me to be less fearful the next time. Because I know I will disassociate again, I can’t erase or change eighteen years of coping mechanisms overnight. All of this takes time.
Ultimately, disassociation is a complex disorder. Understanding and compassion will help them immensely if you know someone who disassociates. Having an ally is such a relief.
Help Someone with Disassociation
People who disassociate often feel disconnected from reality and may experience flashbacks, dizziness, and headaches. While disassociation can be uncomfortable and distressing to watch, you can help. You can take steps to help a person who is disassociating.
The most important thing is to remain calm and reassuring if you see someone disassociate. Try talking them through their experience, reminding them of where they are, who they are with, and what is happening in the present moment. If possible, gently touch or hold their hand to help ground them back into their body.
And if necessary, be prepared to seek medical attention or call 911 if the situation becomes too dangerous. But ultimately, by providing support and comfort to someone who is disassociating, you can help them to reconnect with the present.
My hubs is my ally, and he had stepped in for me when I could not because I disassociated. At that moment, I also heard the most unhelpful statement, “well, if she would tell him not to do that, he wouldn’t.”
If I could, I would. Oh, how I wish I could.
Help Someone with Disassociation
People who disassociate often feel disconnected from reality and may experience flashbacks, dizziness, and headaches. While disassociation can be uncomfortable and distressing to watch, you can help. You can take steps to help a person who is disassociating.
The most important thing is to remain calm and reassuring if you see someone disassociate. Try talking them through their experience, reminding them of where they are, who they are with, and what is happening in the present moment. If possible, gently touch or hold their hand to help ground them back into their body.
And if necessary, be prepared to seek medical attention or call 911 if the situation becomes too dangerous. But ultimately, by providing support and comfort to someone who is disassociating, you can help them to reconnect with the present.
Resources for Disassociation
Disassociation is a complex and challenging condition affecting many people worldwide. Those living with disassociation often experience a disconnection from their emotions, thoughts, relationships, or bodily sensations.
Disassociation can be extremely difficult to manage on one’s own. Therefore, I recommend connecting with professional resources to receive support and guidance. Many different resources are available for those affected by disassociation, including therapy groups and online support forums.
NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) has information for support groups and educational resources for people with disassociation. You can check out their list on their website here.
By reaching out for support and accessing these valuable resources, those like me, living with disassociation, can start moving toward healing and recovery. I know I wouldn’t have been able to move forward without the support and professional resources.
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