The first step to stopping negative self-talk is identifying how much it affects your life. For me, the negative chatter was a constant companion. It was affecting my daily life a lot more than I realized.
Anxiety shows up in many different ways for different people. One of my ways is saying Yes to everything. It is a survival tactic for dealing with trauma. Except I don’t need it anymore.
I used to think I was just snarky and that it gave me an edge. I guess back in the day; I thought it made me cool. Now it just gets in the way. But there is a reason for it. I just had to dig deep enough to figure it out.
To write about needing to stop the survival mode spiral is so much easier than actually doing that. Trying to not listen to the voice of constant alarm that bounces around my head is an enduring challenge.
The attachment to an abusive caregiver that starts as an infant continues through a child’s young life. At least that was my experience. I remember having a strong need to maintain and protect the relationship I had with my caregiver.
Bravery and being brave is an interesting concept to me. It is a concept that is portrayed in movies and on the media as this brash, loud, and pronounced interaction. It usually involving males and lots of muscles.