This is my year-long journey guided by GG Renee Hill’s book A Year of Self-Reflection Journal: 365 Days of Guided Prompts to Slow Down, Tune-In, and Grow. (Note: this link takes you to Amazon. I am not an Amazon affiliate. I am not a paid promoter or advertiser. I share things that help me.)
“Research suggests that journaling is a fundamental tool for self-reflection, as it allows us to transform our observations into intentional decisions and actions that align with who we are and who we want to be.”
Week One, Day Two: Happiness Feels Like
How does happiness feel in my body?
I have no idea. Ask me how PTSD, depression, or anxiety feel in my body and explain the deep pit of despair that each of those causes me on any given day.
But happiness? I don’t know.
And isn’t that the point of this exercise? To retrain my brain and my body to accept these foreign feelings because it teaches me to focus on and then find them in the world.
It isn’t that I haven’t had happy moments. At least, I don’t think that’s it. I am sure that I have had happy moments.
I don’t revel happiness or have an awareness of it. Happiness makes me uncomfortable. I am not used to it.
But that is not part of the exercise. It’s to remember what happiness feels like and focus on that feeling. Okay, here it goes.
Happiness Feels Like…
Happiness feels like a weight has been lifted from my chest. Like I can breathe for the first time.
It’s that moment when I can see a clear future, and it’s bright and full of light and goodness, and all of the darkness has gone from my vision, almost like I don’t have depression, anxiety, and PTSD weighing me down.
I am untethered from the weight, floating; my breath is the wind that propels me through the open sky, and I breathe freely for the first time.
My chest feels open. No weight sits upon it, nothing that pulls me down towards the earth, back towards reality.
Instead, my chest expands with breath pulled in through an open throat, buoying me up and up until I am one with the clouds.
Are you finding having boundaries is difficult? Are you unsure what boundaries are? I used to say “yes” to both of those questions. I highly recommend therapy. I found therapy a safe place where I could find myself again. I know you will too.
I recommend Online-Therapy.*