Intrusive Memories Emerge

Intrusive memories emerge throughout the day with no warning. The trigger can be anything, the way I pick up a cup, turn my body, a noise, or the movement of another person. Intrusive thoughts are part of my world and the world of so many others living with complex PTSD.

The Mayo Clinic’s website on PTSD and intrusive memories:

PTSD symptoms are generally grouped into four types: intrusive memories, avoidance, negative changes in thinking and mood, and changes in physical and emotional reactions. Symptoms can vary over time or vary from person to person.

Symptoms of intrusive memories may include:

• Recurrent, unwanted distressing memories of the traumatic event
• Reliving the traumatic event as if it were happening again (flashbacks)
• Upsetting dreams or nightmares about the traumatic event
• Severe emotional distress or physical reactions to something that reminds you of the traumatic event

Jarring Emotions

I cannot begin to describe how jarring those intrusive memories are because they come without warning. If you know, you know. If you don’t, reading the following poem will give you a small window into the world of intrusive memories.

Ultimate Betrayal

Memories emerge

echoing the past.

Moments long ago,

reflect

cries of innocence

torn away from

the embrace of the

child.

Conjured nightmares

leave the confines of

night.

Bringing despair as

curtains of darkness

falls. Revealing the wounds

of time.

Every day 

reverie as despair

strips away

awareness,

the past hurls forth,

revealing the

tears flowing,

muffled cries,

within the folds of

nighttime sheets,

covered with sweat.

Fear whispered,

embedded within the

ultimate betrayal.

Thinking I could change years of abuse by myself was a fool’s errand. I did not have the tools to heal myself. The psychological toll it takes to move through life like that is immense. Therapy is the best start for healing.

I recommend Online-Therapy.*

Check Out My Other Writing

The Slow Descent to Sobriety

It’s Just One Night

You can also check out my recent poetry:

What Happened to All of My Words?

What Can I Do?

* I receive compensation from Online-Therapy when you use my referral link. I only recommend products and services when I believe in them.