What is This?

What is this? Besides a poem, it is something I wish to be—unbroken. But I can’t go back in time and rescue that poor child, that little girl who was once and is still me.

I can only move forward with the pieces of what once could have been. Forever in search of the glue to put the pieces back together, hoping I put the pieces back correctly.

But is there a correct way? I don’t know.  

What is This?

What is this I want to be?

Something that I have never been before.

To be

Whole.

To be

Unbroken.

How would I know?

How can I tell?

If I have become

Whole?

If I have become

Unbroken?

When I have never been.

It sounds nice

to have

this wholeness

and unbrokenness.

But how can I tell

since I have never been?

How can I tell if

I have achieved

what I think I am

supposed to be?

Having never been before,

will I simply know

that which was broken

is now unbroken?

That I am now suddenly

whole.

Once I know,

once I become

whole

and unbroken

what will happen

to me?

Thinking I could change years of abuse by myself was a fool’s errand. I did not have the tools to heal myself. The psychological toll it takes to move through life like that is immense. Therapy is the best start for healing.

I recommend Online-Therapy.*

Check Out My Other Writing

The Slow Descent to Sobriety

It’s Just One Night

You can also check out my recent poetry:

What Happened to All of My Words?

What Can I Do?

* I receive compensation from Online-Therapy when you use my referral link. I only recommend products and services when I believe in them.